Let Me Get to the Point
Having the support of my friends and family throughout my journey has made things feel less lonely. Since starting my blog I've had people reach out to me who I haven't spoken to or seen in years, some people who I've never met in person, as well as some of my closest friends and family. These connections, advice, and words of support have fueled me to keep exploring and seeking adventure–until now. I overthink and because of that, I've acknowledged that this support system I've described, is now starting to make me more anxious.
I don't want anybody reading to take this in the wrong way. In no way am I telling anyone to stop reaching out to me, because each message I've received has made me smile and helped me in its own way. After some reflection, I think it's the overabundance of love and support I've had for this trip which has started to overwhelm me. It's beginning to weigh me down because I feel like I have something to prove, like this journey needs to be forced into becoming something specific.
This being said, I was the one who decided to publish my life this openly and candidly online. I'm another millennial in the 'age of the social' who decides to publish content for anybody to view, read, construct their opinion on, comment on, like, dislike, share, forward, delete, subscribe, screenshot, iMessage, text message, you get the point. Social media is a large part of our lives now and with all of the amazing opportunities it presents, there will always be setbacks. I'm learning how to co-operate with those setbacks so that they don't wind up controlling my life or this trip.
Some days my mind registers these notifications and messages as a positive motivation, that people are enjoying what I'm doing, what I'm producing. Then there are other days when these social media notifications twist my stomach with anxiety to come up with some elaborate, grandiose plan for my travels.
I started this trip without much money saved, without a plan, and as I've said before... I don't have an answer. What I'm slowly beginning to realize is that this trip has become less about the destination I'm headed to and more about what I can learn from each day, each hour, each minute. I'm only doing this trip for myself so I need to stop feeling like I have to put on a show or a facade because I've chosen to publish it online.
Neue Bop: You Don't Know How it Feels by Tom Petty
Just two days ago we lost a huge musical icon. I'm not going to jump on the bandwagon and say I was a HUGE Tom Petty Fan, but, I do have some specific associations growing up with his music. When we were kids our summers often involved heading three hours north to a family friend's cottage. The mild summer nights warmed by the campfire would often feature an array of Petty's tracks. Unfortunately, on October 2nd we lost another great musical legend. In addition to this loss, Las Vegas experienced a senseless act of terrorism. With 58 people dead and another 500 people injured this shooting goes down as the deadliest mass shooting in modern U.S. history. I'm obviously not the only one to say this, but, there needs to be stricter laws on gun legislation across the world, more importantly right now in the U.S. Please speak their names.
Stay safe, stay happy. Sending all of my love from this side of the world.